I left the shop that day feeling more certain than ever that I was on the right path.
My heart was full with visions of all the women I could help take back their own power in this not-so-small way. For the next couple of Saturdays, I showed up in more shop-appropriate attire with a can-do attitude and a desire to soak up as much knowledge as my new teacher had to give me. A couple more ladies started showing up as well.
One Saturday I arrived early, I guess, and saw the shop all locked up. I waited in my car for a while and a second vehicle arrived. In it was an older woman I didn't recognize. I'd been there like 20 minutes and still no sign of Greg or the shop being open. I checked my texts: nothing. My hot pink flip phone didn't have email capability.
Eventually I walked over to the other lady in the car and asked if she was there for the group. She said yes. We'd both been waiting over 30 minutes by now and decided group had been cancelled and we missed the memo. We decided to walk down to a coffee shop and get to know each other. We ended up having a fantastic conversation about tithe and other Biblical topics, and it felt like a very God-appointed time.
I wish I could say I still remember her name and that we remained close, but that isn't the case. But I don't believe in coincidences. We each fulfilled a need for the other at that time, and I'm grateful for that.
Meanwhile, I texted Greg to check on him. It wasn't like him (from the short amount of time I'd known him) to just not show up and I wanted to make sure he was ok. Later at home I found an email he'd sent that explained he had to leave town suddenly and was sorry to cancel group that day.
The next week, Greg apologized to our group, and sadly explained that the week prior he had been engaged to be married, and now he wasn't.
Up until this point, I hadn't looked at Greg with any intention beyond knowing he was a human who had things to teach me. I mean, I was content with my life and focused on this new path I was on, and I knew from the get-go he was engaged. Plus I'd had my heart bruised not too long before I met him. So romantic involvement wasn't even on my radar.
But when I saw him sitting there, clearly emotional, his sad, forlorn eyes facing the broken concrete at his feet, his cool chain tattoo on his forearm...well, I suddenly had an urge to care for this man.
I jumped up to get him some water. I don't know why. I just needed to *do* something.
Later that night, he was on my mind. Still not in a romantic way. I'm serious! But my heart hurt for him, so I reached out.
"How can I pray for you?" my text read.
"Pray I don't feel so angry towards her," came his reply. "Pray for patience for me."
"Well, I believe praying for patience is praying for trials, so how about I pray that whatever it is you're supposed to learn through this, you learn it quickly so you can move on?"
He liked that.
We kept texting for a while. For a few days. About everything. And nothing. It was fun.
One night, after group, he called me. "How can I pray for YOU?" he asked me.
I shared with him again my desire to run a mechanic's shop so that I could help other women in my position. I told him how I thought it would be fun to have it be a mechanic's shop and spa or something, so the ladies could be cared for while their cars were.
He excitedly shared with me that for a decade, he'd wanted to run a non-profit mechanic's shop, because it made him so angry the way a lot of mechanics took advantage of people who didn't know better. He especially had a heart for single parents in this position.
"I've been told I was crazy for wanting to do this," he explained to me. " But I always wanted it to be a mechanic's shop and *something* - like a daycare? I really want to help single parents. But I don't really know any!"
My heart was pounding. I was glad he wasn't there in person, to be honest.
"Well, I love crazy. And I have the list of the 343 Single Parents at our church," I confessed to him. "I'm your girl."
We made plans to connect at church the next night, and hung up.
Sunday night, I saw him walking towards me in his greasy navy mechanic's jacket, and was shocked when my stomach did a flip. What?! No. NO NO NO. I didn't want to like him! I didn't want to like anyone! I was good! I was content! I just wanted to learn to fix cars, for crying out loud.
We continued texting, getting to know each other. One night I was watching Edward Scissorhands with the kids in a fort we built in our living room. Greg asked what we were doing and when I told him, he found the same movie to watch at home.
Tei was too scared of the movie and we had to shut it off after about 15 minutes.
Greg and I continued to text. And one time, after something I said, he replied...
"I think this conversation would be better continued in person. Maybe over lunch? Or dinner?"
My stomach flipped again.
*pause*
"Um," I texted back, "Did you just ask me out?"
"I think I did."
*swallow*
"Ok. 3 things," I informed him.
"1. I'm not dating right now."
"2. I am NOT interested in being your rebound."
"3. I AM NOT DATING."
He chuckled.
We agreed to have lunch soon at a place near his work, on a weekend I didn't have the kids. Mexican food at this cool little hole-in-the-wall that sadly doesn't exist anymore. It was a little awkward but mostly fun and we just talked and talked. He paid for my meal. It was March 24, 2011.
I figured neither of us were kids, and I wasn't interested in playing games with anyone. So I gave him my rules about how often we could see each other, when he'd see my kids (or not), and how we wouldn't spend time alone together for quite some.
"I like you, but I need to take this slow," I said. He agreed.
Life has a funny way of making a fool out of us sometimes, doesn't it?
The very next Friday, when my kids were gone at their dad's, I invited Greg over to watch a movie.
And we saw each other every day after that.
Now, any time I hear the song "Dog Days" by Florence and the Machine, I'm instantly transported back to the summer of 2011.
"Happiness hit her, like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back"
Those lyrics were kind of the soundtrack to that season.
Hot breezes flowing through the shop in downtown Bellevue, where Greg and I spent any free time we had. It was just down the street from my work, so he came by for lunch often, or would pick me up to take me to lunch. Together, sometimes with the kids, we got to help my sister, my best friends, their friends. I kept a log book of all the women we helped and at the time, we even paid for all the parts that were needed. Greg never charged a dime for his labor.
My heart was full.
We knew within a couple of months that we wanted to get married, but we didn't want to freak our families out, so we just kept waiting and praying.
After a couple more months, I texted Greg's sister to ask if it would be ok if I maybe went out with her brother?
"I think that would be fantastic," she replied. "He says some weird stuff sometimes, but he's a really good guy. I wouldn't let you date him if he wasn't."
She told him later that even when he was engaged to another woman, and even before he and I had met, she had me picked out for him. But she never said anything to either of us.
I remember a conversation with my dad in May of 2011. I was in Hawaii, on a trip I'd planned for myself before I'd met Greg. My step-mom had mentioned to my dad that I'd shared with her about wanting to marry Greg.
"How can you be sure so soon?" my dad asked. "How do you know how he'll handle a tragedy? What if something bad happens and he doesn't stick around?"
*******************
How does an hour go so fast?
Xoxo.
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