(This post
can stand on its own, but you may want to read Parts 1 - which explains why I'm sharing these blog posts, 2, and 3 before you
continue…)
There's a video (watch
it here) going around online about Eastlake Community Church, the church my
family called home for the better part of a decade.
 This was a place where I crawled through my divorce and learned to navigate life as a single mama. A place where I sobbed through every worship session for months and months. And months. A place where I met (and made mistakes with) men who I thought might be a good fit for my lonely heart. A place where I helped set up and tear down church, cleaned classrooms, welcomed new people in, led growth groups and made lifelong friends. A place where I found healing. And then the place where I met a wonderful man who truly was a good fit for my heart, and navigated yet another new season of life as we married. A place where together we grieved the loss of my husband's niece and nephew, and later, experienced the terror and grief that came with the birth and hospitalization of our youngest child. A place I spent much of my "free" time, much of my income, and dedicated almost an entire year as an intern to move their mission forward. A place where I learned how to seek Jesus and love all people, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, all of it...like He does. It's been a beautiful place. I share all this to make it clear that leaving this special community has been one of the most painful decisions I've had to make, and it's triggered a season of grieving that I didn't expect. I was very much a part of Eastlake, and Eastlake was a part of me. |
I have so much love and
gratitude for how God used Eastlake for my family and for countless others
over the years. I am grateful on behalf of my friends who had previously been
hurt by "the church" and have now found a place they feel accepted. I in no way mean to diminish or take away from any of that. I
truly love every person represented in this video, and I cherish every single
member of the staff at Eastlake, many whom I consider friends, who I know count on this place to support their families.
This makes it especially difficult for me to speak out about this. But this isn't me just needing to vent. (I have friends for that.) I take no pleasure in having to share any of these things. But I truly believe the eternity of souls are at stake, and so, not sharing would be completely selfish and unloving of me. |
Please, please hear my
heart on this: For me, this is not an
issue of the LGBTQ community being included. I have many loved ones who are a
part of that community and I wouldn't want to attend a church where they were
not welcome to worship the true and living God beside me. I truly believe all the
people God created should be welcomed into His house.
Rather, this is an issue
of a perceived-Christian leader deciding his way is better than God's way. It. Makes. No.
Sense. And it's devastating.
In this video, Pastor
Ryan says, "I don't care if
the Bible says gay people suck." (at 3:25)
The Bible does not say
"gay people suck". Here, Ryan not only puts words in God's mouth, but
he also implies that God hates gay people. Nowhere in the Bible does it say God
hates gay people. He hates sin because it hurts us and
keeps us separate from Him. There are six scriptures in the Bible that mention the
acts of homosexuality (alongside other sexual acts that the Lord considers
sinful), and not homosexual individuals themselves.
God loves His creation. He
desires every single person He created (which is all of us) to have a loving, intimate relationship with Him, and to live in health, wholeness, and oneness with Him. In His
desire for authentic relationships with us, rather than us being mindless robots who worship Him, He gave us free will to either choose His love or reject it. It is humans, with our limited understanding, who have
misinterpreted God's heart and words on the topic of the LGBTQ community (and
every other topic, for that matter), and who have made it the hateful, ugly
ordeal it has become. For that, I am deeply grieved and I believe God is, too.
He doesn't wish for any of the people He created to go without love.
But I am also grieved that this video suggests that Ryan gets it right, while God gets it wrong.
But I am also grieved that this video suggests that Ryan gets it right, while God gets it wrong.
Ryan says, "The God who loves them is going to
send most of human history to hell. Like, that's the good news? Sounds pretty
shitty. [laughs]" (at 1:06)
This quote
of Ryan's particularly stings because as someone who faithfully attended his
church, I'm struggling to think of a time in the past few years when
someone new to church or God or Christianity has heard the true Good News
from their pastor.
Because the Good News actually
is that while sin keeps us separate from God, His Son Jesus Christ volunteered
to come to earth, become human, sacrifice Himself on the cross, and resurrect
three days later, thus paying for our sins before they ever even happen, so
that we can enjoy eternal life in heaven with God. "For God so loved
the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall
not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the
world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John
3:16, 17
I took it
for granted because I've known who Jesus was since I was 5. But what about
those who've never heard that this is true? Members of Eastlake Community
Church that have been attending in the last 2-4 years have likely never
heard from their pastor that Jesus loves them and died for them. We're talking about actual human hearts at stake here, eternally speaking. But feelings have taken precedence over souls. This is a
tragedy.
In the video, regarding
the Bible, Ryan says, "We've
decided it fell from the sky, and now we've gotta run it like a manual for how
to run the earth, how to legislate reality. And that's not what it is. If we
need to consult an ancient book to know what to do when a human being is
standing in front us, I think we're screwed already." (at 3:53)
Here’s the deal: As
humans, created by God, we get to choose whether or not we believe that God is who He says He is, and that the
Bible is His Living Word. Every human can decide for themselves
and then live accordingly. I personally believe in the infallibility, inerrancy
and Divine inspiration of the Bible, so imagine my confusion when my pastor
started to systematically discredit the Bible from the stage, and propose that
the Bible is just a suggestion when it's convenient or feels good. The video
even explains that Eastlake uses the Bible as a framework, and not a rule book.
This was news to me. I thought we were asking questions to gain a deeper
understanding of what we believe, not to discount the entire foundation for the
belief system I thought we all shared.
Ryan’s viewpoint actually takes away my choice by suggesting that what I’ve always believed the Bible to be isn’t even true. And imagine my shock to see a Christian pastor - MY pastor - mock Christians (at 2:50) who honor and consider the Bible to be Holy Scripture. In his obvious disgust, he couldn't even form words. He mocked me, a member of his church for 8 years, for my beliefs. Beliefs I thought we shared.
Ryan’s viewpoint actually takes away my choice by suggesting that what I’ve always believed the Bible to be isn’t even true. And imagine my shock to see a Christian pastor - MY pastor - mock Christians (at 2:50) who honor and consider the Bible to be Holy Scripture. In his obvious disgust, he couldn't even form words. He mocked me, a member of his church for 8 years, for my beliefs. Beliefs I thought we shared.
How is this not wrong?
At best it's judgmental,
rebellious, unloving and deeply hurtful. Eastlake, the church I put my trust in
to guide and teach and help me grow in the ways of the Lord, has subtly become
a place accepting and affirming of every conceivable belief system...except the
truth it was founded on and taught for years. It's become a place that celebrates
confusion, of having no real answers, of claiming arrogance to believe anything
with any certainty at all, and welcoming to every conviction except the one I
live by - that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, and that the Bible is the Word
of God. As upsetting as that is, it's also hypocritical. Because in this environment of anything goes, I'm being told that what I believe is considered wrong. How is this inclusive?
Look, I agree with Ryan when
he says, "I have lots of
things I disagree with about the Bible." Absolutely. There are
parts of it that do not sit well with me, parts I just don't understand and
parts I disagree with. A friend reminded me, though, that while there certainly are
sections of Scripture that are mysterious, confusing or seemingly
contradicting, I must stop myself and remember the English translation is just
that - a translation from Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek. I know none of these
languages or cultures...so before I write off or walk away from the Bible, feeling pissed or confused because I don’t understand, I need to do the work and study
the Word. Just because I don’t get it doesn’t mean it's not right or useful or
able to teach me. Ultimately, after I've done my homework and if I still don’t get it, then I can defer to a
living, loving, trustworthy God who just plain knows better than I do. And then do my damnedest to treat others with love.
Ryan's change of mind
has caused confusion and pain for myself and countless others that called
Eastlake home. Eastlake leadership has camped out on a cause that makes
themselves and a previously rejected community feel good - which I do not have
a problem with - but have rejected God's Word in the process – which I do.
The phrase, "The devil is in the details" has all new meaning to me in all of this. I see now how the enemy has distracted people from the truth about who Jesus is, by having them focus on a minority community who has a history of being mistreated by many in the Christian world. Sneaky. While the message at Eastlake is seemingly pro-love, their stance is more and more anti-Christ. This is the opposite of loving. To wake up to this realization has been utterly devastating.
The phrase, "The devil is in the details" has all new meaning to me in all of this. I see now how the enemy has distracted people from the truth about who Jesus is, by having them focus on a minority community who has a history of being mistreated by many in the Christian world. Sneaky. While the message at Eastlake is seemingly pro-love, their stance is more and more anti-Christ. This is the opposite of loving. To wake up to this realization has been utterly devastating.
The Word warns us, "Be sober-minded. Your adversary the
devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist
him, firm in your faith..." 1 Peter 5:8
I have failed miserably
here for a long time. I've been blindly following along on another man's
spiritual journey. I stopped reading the Bible for myself, stopped praying to
God (in part because these things were no longer being encouraged by church
leadership), failed to research the men and women whose theologies were being
taught, and just swallowed the messages as truth week after week. I was unaware
(or unwilling to admit) that we had veered far off the path I believed we were
on.
"For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things." Romans 1:21-23
It wasn't until I'd
reached my limit of confusion and fear about what was really true that I realized I hadn't
sought God on this matter. When I started to do so, when I started to ask God specifically for clarity and discernment and truth, when I started to read His Word again, I got answers
very quickly. It has been a jarring about-face. I feel as if I have spiritual
whiplash, and I will be reeling from this wake up for a long time.
Tomorrow I'll share more about what is going on at Eastlake, and about how all of this might've happened…
Xoxo.
