As this week comes to a close, I've been accused of many things, one of them being that I'm trying to take down Eastlake. There are indeed many of us praying that light be shed on darkness, that everyone we love sees Jesus for who He truly is. But I have no desire to see people hurt, or to fail, or be unable to support their families or any of that. These are my friends, too. These are all people I love and care about, too. It's just that the eternity of those same hearts and souls are more important to me than the temporal things of earth.
The founder (as he's now called) of Eastlake says that "One particular reading of the Christian story claims that death is a punishment. That humans are aliens on the earth. That you don't belong here. That you are innately broken. Not true. Death feeds everything that lives. It is a gift. Humans are not simply from the earth, but we are OF the earth. You belong here. Deeply. And while you may not be flawless, your basic nature is of a fundamental wholeness." (from his blog)
God says the exact opposite through the Scriptures. No human, be it a pastor or a blogger, is more trustworthy than the God who created each of us. Please, please, read the Word of the God who made you. It is the only way to know what the real truth is.
Ryan, and the leadership at Eastlake - I beg you to please be honest with your community and redefine yourself as the New Age spiritual center you've become. Because right now, you are spreading lies in the name of God. If you're honest, then people who still think they're on the path to God can leave, and those that are ok with the New Age doctrines can stay. Being honest in this way is the most loving thing you can do at this point.
Still, there's hope.
During this painful, isolating season, I have felt left out, but I haven't been lonely. That's such a gift and it's new. I was so lonely before. For years. Even surrounded by people who I thought were friends. Now, the Lord has faithfully brought new and old friends into my world that are helping to breathe life back into me during one of the saddest seasons I’ve walked through.
The constant cloud of depression that hung over me for years, the one that I assumed was just a part of my personality, has vanished! I have a returned confidence and lightness about me that I missed! It was drowning in the darkness that shadowed me, the darkness I couldn't even see while I stayed at Eastlake; a darkness I was aware of but certainly didn't think to attribute to my house of faith.
On Easter, we attended a new church and sitting in that room, surrounded by people praising God, and listening to the message of the Resurrection, I was overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and surprise. Visiting other churches has been a painful, wonderful experience. It’s hit me hard to realize what I’d been missing at my own church for so long…like a day and night difference compared to what I’d been sitting through for years.
I've been to church just twice since we left Eastlake, but the Lord is already filling voids in my heart and life that have been just sitting there for years, open, gaping, aching to be filled. Desires that I've prayed for and seen no fruit from, but now that we've left, He has been filling those voids right and left! People have been coming out of the woodwork, offering help and friendship, mentorship and prayer. Health. All the things my heart has been longing for and wasn't getting where I was.
Since we
left, I've discovered a renewed hunger for Jesus. It’s a lot like when you sit
down at a Mexican restaurant thinking you’re not that hungry, but you start
eating the chips anyway, and suddenly you’re ravenous. I was out of the habit
of praying and reading the Bible, but now I can't get enough of either. And while traditional worship music
used to make me super irritable, now I don’t want to listen to anything else. The
words are like water to my
parched soul.
I’ve heard
this song, Tears of the Saints, dozens of
times in my life. But only recently did I actually hear the lyrics. I finally
know the difference between “the lost” and “the unsaved”. It’s heartbreaking to
be so close to those who are lost. But I’m grateful for these reminders to stay
in prayer for all the people that God loves. Which is all of the people.
I am grateful for this season. It is hard. It is brutal. But like other painful times in my life, this difficult season has brought me back to my First Love. Maybe this time I’ll learn to stay close to Him without the horrible experience first.
In the
meantime, I’m clinging to the hope I have
again in Him, and the lyrics to this song, a
song I remember my beautiful friend Leah sing so many times, years ago. I miss
that.
Loved ones, if you
believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that He is who He says He
is...if you believe that the Bible is His holy word...or if you are confused or
doubting or have a nagging feeling in your gut that something you're being
taught in the name of God is off...I beg of you to PRAY.
Pray to the Almighty God who created you in His image, not to your inner self or anyone else,
and ask Him to show you the truth, ask Him for discernment, and seek His Word. He will answer your prayers.
If you’ve
read this far…thank you. Please know how truly loved you are,
by me, by hundreds of people praying for you, but more importantly, by God. Please believe that you are deeply, truly, unconditionally loved by God.
I hope we can have some respectful conversation about all of this soon. You know where I stand. I’m not trying to debate anyone, I’m definitely not trying to argue or fight. But I can answer questions, I can listen, and I can pray.
I hope we can have some respectful conversation about all of this soon. You know where I stand. I’m not trying to debate anyone, I’m definitely not trying to argue or fight. But I can answer questions, I can listen, and I can pray.
With so
much love,
Xoxo
Jaime
Jaime
